Discover more from The Fainting Couch
We've moved! And: some coaching news!
We’re never moving again. I’m calling it. I have PTSD from the sound of packing tape going rip rip rippity rap across cardboard. I have washed newspaper ink off my grubby fingers after unboxing fragile glassware for the last time. I will be buried in this place! Actually, toss me in the gas fireplace when it’s my time. I’m sure at-home cremations will be a thing by then.
But let us focus on the positive. Like: we have moved to the country, and so far, we love it. We have twice as much space! It’s so quiet! Did I mention the gas fireplace? I see that I did!
Waking up in the morning and flipping the switch on that thing and then relaxing in the toasty-warm living room with the morning light streaming in: I highly recommend it.
Our kitchen is absurdly spacious. We’ve completely unpacked all our kitchen stuff, and there are empty cabinets. “No more playing Jenga with your possessions,” as my sister-in-law pointed out. Those days are over, baby.
We haven’t met a single neighbor and we’re not confident that they exist. I met one sort of odd character when I was walking Hazel, but I think he was only working in front of someone’s house. It’s a little weird to ask someone something like, “So, you live here, or what?” so I just wished him a good day and moved on. While Hazel wished him a very bad day. A very bad day indeed!
Hazel does not take kindly to strangers.
It’s so strange to pack up and move somewhere without your kid. The concerns we had moving to New Jersey, so many years ago — Henry was 3! — were so different. There’s no frantic search for playdate friends and adequate preschools. We’re not managing any little-kid sadness on top of feeling discombobulated ourselves, so overall, the move feels far, far less emotionally fraught. We’re sort of worrying that we abandoned Henry in the city, but so far Henry seems unconcerned. He’s too busy interning and sewing and making music and generally living his best life.
IT’S BUSINESS TIME
Permit me to talk business with you! Avert your eyes if you don’t want your newsletter besmirched by business!
As you may know, I started book coaching a few months ago. I’ve since received so many requests for more open-ended writing help, however, that I am pivoting (slightly) and rebranding (a little) as a writing coach. Basically, you don’t have to have a book idea to work with me: f you want help with any of your fiction or nonfiction writing, whether that’s short stories, essays, or a book, I’m here for you! (If you need help with your poetry or your screenplay, however, I am not your person.)
Along with this merest of pivots comes a new suite of services. At some point, I’m going to figure out how to get these on my site, along with booking instructions. I will! But for now, here’s a preview of what I’m offering. If you’re interested, have questions, comments, requests, etc., hit “reply” to this newsletter and have at me. Newsletter readers get 10% off their first month! Forward this to anyone you think might be interested!
45-minute call: $175. This is your time to spend with me however you like. You’ll answer a short Q&A beforehand so I have some personalized recommendations for you. During the call we can discuss:
The book writing (and selling!) process
The book publishing industry
Creating a writing routine that works for you
What goes into a book proposal
Your book or essay concept or structure
Your query letter or synopsis (live editing available!)
Books that might inspire you based on your project or your writing interests
45-minute call w/ edits: $250/each or $400/two meetings a month. I’ll talk you through my edits of up to 10 pages. The day before our meeting, you’ll receive an edited version of your 10 pages, with edits and comments visible. During our call we’ll address your questions, discuss the edits, and come up with goals for your next draft.
Twelve weeks of coaching w/edits: $2250 (weekly calls). Perfect if you’re trying to sprint to the finish line of a major project or kick your new idea into high gear. The day before our meeting, you’ll receive an edited version of your 10 pages, with edits and comments visible. During our 45-minute call we’ll address your questions, discuss the edits, and come up with goals for your next draft.
Book proposal editing: $575.00. Get a detailed review of your book proposal, including line edits, identifying areas that need honing or expanding, as well as big-picture feedback on your sample chapters.
Road to a proposal: pricing varies. Are you ready to create the proposal that gets your book sold — but you have no idea how to start? Are you halfway in, and totally lost? No matter where you are on your proposal journey, I’ll help you get to the finish line. Let’s talk!
Query feedback: $150.00 You’ll get two rounds of written feedback on your query—focusing on succinctly and accurately presenting your work to agents and publishers. Send your query as a Google doc, where I’ll track changes and add comments.
Submission package edit: query, synopsis & first 10 pages: $275.00 I’ll line-edit your query and synopsis as well as your first 10 pages. Included in this package are two rounds of email follow-up questions.
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